You say Mohammed, I say Teddy Bear...
Does my posting title offend your religious beliefs? Should I be hanged or shot?
Is religion really peaceful? Historically, it seems to have been more harmful to humankind than helpful. Furthermore is religion necessary?
I read the headlines about Muslims wanting to kill a 54 year old school teacher for allowing her pupils to name a teddy bear after their prophet. I'm astonished at the total ignorance of people. I suppose my poodle, Muhammed, who is currently humping my dachshund Buddha will have me on the top of these folks sh!t list. Hope the Christians don't find out I had the vet perform an abortion on my cat, Mary.
Now, lest you think me to be a totally secular heathen, please note that I do believe in God. However, I see a great chasm between religion and spirituality. How arrogant are we as mere mortals to think that we've found the only path to God? That our religion is the "only" truth. Surely God must be so much more than the box we've created for him.
Look now brothers and sisters! We have created God in our own image.
Pathetic.
Synapse fire
Music rages
Colors feel thick
Scents arouse the past
Longing for youth that will never return
To experience the awe of the young man
Yearn for the innocence
Ache for the first touch
Encounter her body
Entwined with her soul
Smooth, silky, cool
Hot, moist, unexplored
Surge, explode
Lying spent, content, rapt
Now
Flesh fails the spirit
Age betrays the young soul
Uninspired, no contentment
Just old
Wasted
Spent
Writing useless poetry
Being the Victim and/or the Victimizer - Qualities of a True Mindsayer
It has been brought to my attention by velvetdreams that my previous post fails to include vital qualifications for membership to Mindsay. Specifically, I failed to note being either a victim or a victimizer. For the record, I have been both victim and victimizer. I am an emotinally scarred victim and have also inflicted my fair share of abuse on my own victims. So, let the following serve as evidence of my qualifications to be a fully entrusted member of the Mindsay community.
- As and adolescent, I was the victim of vicious bullying by my neighbor and his older sister.
- I got revenge.
- In the ninth grade I sold a four finger bag of oregano to a seventh grader for $10 bucks.
- I was beat up by the high school football team.
- The high school football team developed severe scrotum burning from Icy Hot in their jocks.
- Because I am of large girth I have been victimized by airlines, movie theatres, and concert arenas. (You try fitting a 24 inch ass into a 19 inch seat!).
- I have mowed my lawn during an ozone alert and passed methane gas while doing so, futher adding to global warming and the victimization of the entire planet.
- Finally, I am oppressed by "the man".
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I
have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making
them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic
slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time
efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.
I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot
bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook
Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a
veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.
Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly
defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious
army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the
subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large
suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On
Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of
charge.
I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie.
Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear.
I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I
have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last
summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force
demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me
fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.
I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy.
I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day
and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I
know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have
performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week;
when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I
successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a
small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.
I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On
weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami.
Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down.
I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a
toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San
Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the
Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and
I have spoken with Elvis.
god
